Manic Moments: SPLASHDOWN!

We’d been meandering along quite happily with toilet training, occasionally popping Thomas on the toilet and encouraging wees but not stressing a lot about it…

However an unfortunate trip to my Mums Group last week upped the ante. APPARENTLY their rugrats are all now out of nappies. (I have a sneaking suspicion there’s a bit of political spin going on there… you know… say it enough and eventually reality will remould itself to your wishes).

Anyway… it all came to a head this month when my well meaning (if slightly sneaky) monster-in-law gave Thomas a pack of “big boy undies”. Thomas promptly fell in love with the little daks, refusing to wear anything else. I laughed till I cried as he ran round the house clutching his crotch and yelling BIG BOY!!!! Of course the downside is that toilet training now had to start in earnest.

Now there are many places you can get info on toilet training. So I’m not going to give you ten easy tips to make it happen. I’m going to give you the real down and dirty – the pitfalls (ha get it?!). This is what I’ve learned the hard way over the last three weeks:

DO NOT leave the house without at least two change of undies and trousers, preferably three. Plus a t-shirt – don’t ask me how they get wee on their t-shirt but they will. Plus you will need to take spare shoes and socks in case of a ‘squidgy shoe squirt’. This is an amazing feat where your child somehow manages to keep their undies and crotch dry but fills up their shoes with the wee that presumably ran down their leg. In fact on second thoughts you may just want to stay home.

DO NOT recoil in horror when you pull down the big boy pants and discover an unannounced sneaky poo. The action of recoil will cause the elastic on the big boy pants to fire the poo across the room. YIKES!!

Pee like a girl even if you’re a boy. The Man insists that real men pee standing up but take my advice… If you have a boy, DO NOT teach him to pee standing up. Thomas has trouble getting the wee in the toilet EVEN WHEN SITTING DOWN. I can only imagine what would happen if he was standing up. I’d be wearing a raincoat and gumboots for starters. And goggles. And keeping my mouth shut.

DO NOT look too closely at the unidentified brown who-knows-how-it-got-there object on your carpet. And DO NOT taste it. It is not chocolate.

So there you have it… The down and dirty. Something to look forward to as your rugrats get a little bigger! But don’t get me wrong it’s not all bad. When Thomas does (occasionally) manage to drop a big one in the dunny, we both get to shout SPLASHDOWN! Then we give each other a high five, and put Bob the Builder stickers all over our hands. Don’t know about him but it’s the highlight of my day.


Posted on October 20, 2011, in Manic Moments. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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